Dress For Yourself, Not Your Man

Dress For Yourself, Not Your Man [three_fourth]


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{ wide leg pants : santacruz station road, white ruffle top : colaba, black ruffle cardigan : esprit, belt : and, bag : bought in spain, spider ring : bought in spain, cuff : colaba, shoes : aldo, sunnies : prada minimal baroque }

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The promised land of a 20-something trying to navigate the dark, murky waters of singledom? The self help section.

 

After a couple of bad dates and some intense browsing I discovered that nobody’s written a book on what men want women to wear. We’ve all heard the age-old ‘boys don’t make passes at girls who wear glasses’ cliche and magazines are constantly shoving statistics at us claiming that ‘men love red lipstick, bandage dresses and stilettos’. But if you ask your boyfriends, they claim they like their women fuss-free and au naturale.

 

Who should you believe?
My insatiable curiosity compelled me to conduct a little social experiment. I took a guy friend shopping and discovered that he made faces at anything with glitter or sequins,  paled considerably at a maxi skirt and shook his head disapprovingly at a leopard print jumpsuit.

 

As the afternoon continued, I watched in horror as he rejected wedges, harem pants, a faux fur gilet and wide leg jeans. After a significant amount of frustration and introspection, it hit me. The reason a ‘what men want’ book is so rare is because deep down, women know we’re better than that.

 
Nobody’s asking you to you to pull an Ugly Betty and we all feel a power surge whilst dressing to impress, but changing your wonderful, vibrant selves or your quirky personal style for anybody but yourself shouldn’t be an option. If you think about it, how often would a guy change from punk-rock to preppy for you?

 

This girl’s made a conscious decision to be herself and feel fabulous than change who she is for a date. Because I know now that if I have to change the way I look to get his attention, he probably isn’t worth it.

 

I’d love to hear what you guys think. Is wearing what he likes considered a good thing in the dating world? Or would you deem it unnecessary and pressurizing? Share your opinion in the comments section.

 

Bisou bisou,
Anushka

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25 Comments

  1. December 5, 2011 / 5:01 pm

    Hi!
    OMG!I so agree with you…I was always conscious about it but now I really don’t bother or try and follow the first date ‘rules’ I wear whatever makes me feel good.

  2. December 5, 2011 / 8:08 pm

    Hi Anushka,

    Guess what !!!This is exactly the subject I was going to touch upon in my new blog ,after I got few bad comments(not constructively critical but pure demotivating :-)).Of course don’t qualify for dates per se (happily married)but dressing-the-way-I-want still needs to be the Mantra

    http://my-owns-space.blogspot.com/2011/12/on-naughty-sunday.html

  3. December 5, 2011 / 9:26 pm

    It was amazing reading it.. Its always a mystery what a man likes his girl to wear!!
    But I never think about what his favorite color wud be or wtever.. yess there’s a lil pressure to look good,, But I guess being comfortable in your own skin works d best !!!
    PS- loved ur pants.. u look sexyy

  4. December 6, 2011 / 12:36 am

    Who is this man who din’t like sequins and sparkle..Should we get together and beat him a lil:P but i know the constant need to feel pretty for men can be really frustrating..either ways i am totally digging these pants:D

  5. Pra Chee
    December 6, 2011 / 4:21 am

    Personally, I’m not exactly the fashion conscious girl but I stick by the “if you have to change your style to get him to like you, then he probably isn’t worth it” rule. Also, given a choice between the average male and my wardrobe, I choose my wardrobe any damned day and twice on sunday. I’m kiddin, of course…half kidding anyway.

    Of course, there are those times when you wear something thats not quite your style because your guy said it’d look nice on you. So you do it to “make him happy”. This isn’t exactly “changing your style for a guy” cause, typically, there wont be any strings attached.

  6. December 6, 2011 / 7:42 am

    Loved the post – specially the adorable trousers!
    Most of the time, I dress for me but every once in a while I do take his dressing suggestions into considerations and honestly, they’ve created some great outfits 🙂

  7. December 6, 2011 / 8:19 am

    well what I say is that if a guy is constricting you in any way then probably he is not worth it… i am married and my husband has a different (but good :)) taste as far as my clothing goes, he likes me wearing certain dresses but he never asks me not to wear what I like… so i think one needs to find a balance 🙂 🙂

    By the way I loved your look 🙂

    P.S: found your blog via Style Pile

  8. December 7, 2011 / 6:32 am

    I’ve always dressed the way I want ‘coz the boy himself says that his sense of fashion sucks! But once in a while he surprises me with some great picks and ideas… which are not really my usual style. As long as i am comfortable I dont mind changing and experimenting! But If i have to change my style completely for him to like me.. then NO. Not worth it at all.
    But rejecting wedges and harem pants? :O Horror indeed.

    p.s – for the record I absolutely love your style!

  9. December 7, 2011 / 5:49 pm

    Lovely post !!! enjoyed it !! my logic is men will not like anything which is too obvious , its the same with makeup . they say they like women without makeup whereas what they mean is that they like basic makeup which is not too colorfull 😛

  10. December 7, 2011 / 8:18 pm

    Love the post Anushka! Its ever so brazen, and yet everything us girls are always going through. Although I should probably let you know the principle applies not only to singletons, but also those of us who’re married!
    Maxi dress seem like ‘nighties’, and wide legged pants are too hippie-like, oh, and any kind of printed pants are deemed to be pyjamas!
    Seems when t-shirt and jeans are all the doctor can prescribe, its best not to ask for a prescription at all.

  11. December 8, 2011 / 6:45 am

    Hi Anushka,
    Your pants are a too die for and plus you carry them off awesme. I have been searching for something like this in Delhi. Can you help?
    Colorific India

  12. December 9, 2011 / 7:28 pm

    you look awesome, and i’ve loved the text!
    we shouldnt even think about changing the way we dress for any guy! i have a good friend of mine always telling me i look fat if i wear a maxi skirt… well, i’m sorry but i love maxi skirts, make me feel like a princess 🙂
    and i had a boyfriend who told me not to wear such short jeans… that was the end of it!
    kisses from Paris,
    S

  13. December 13, 2011 / 12:44 pm

    I like the ruffled top and love those glasses and the chunky bangle. Where’d you get it Anushka?

  14. December 18, 2011 / 1:36 am

    There was a time I wore what my guy wanted me to but then we learn through our mistakes. In fact, it’s only after I broke up with him that I loved ‘brights’ and not neutrals, like he did. If I listen to my guy now, I’d probably end up in denims and tee all the time!

  15. December 19, 2011 / 9:20 am

    Totally agree with you here. I’ve gone out with wild looking, tattooed, pierced and dyed men because they were such darlings. Many sweet guys have said and done all the right things even when I was dressed in my on-retrospect-not-good-for-a-date clothes. The right guy will stick around.

  16. December 19, 2011 / 6:50 pm

    We men like women who look great without attracting massive crowds in leopard jumpsuits.

    The whole idea is that you don’t need to look unique or different on a daily basis. We (on a whole) just need women to look pretty, so we can stare, lech and yes also, show off to our other friends (“Woohoo! I’m dating a hot chick!”).

    Eg. Subtle but spunky always works well in my favour. Plus, what you’re wearing in the pics is quite excellent btw. 🙂

    Hope this was relevant/helpful.

    Cheers,

  17. February 4, 2012 / 12:38 am

    witty observation!! I believe if I dress in a way I like, I feel beautiful – and guys see what we feel!! at least mine does!lOL). But its nice to take little notes/suggestion of your man into consideration from time to time!
    BTW, loving the boldness of the pants here! Found you via tanvi’s blog! Loving it here!
    Take care,
    Jyoti
    Style-Delights Blog
    Let’s Twitter Together

  18. December 13, 2012 / 7:30 am

    I’ve been married to my man for 8.5 years and I guess I have also concluded some of these points over time. He hates sequins and bling in most forms and I love my bling in nail color and in my Indian dressing :D; he loves me to keep things simple though I like going over the top at times… We have grown to understand and appreciate each other’s tastes but now, more often than not, I dress to make myself feel good. And when I do that, he notices and almost always loves it <3 <3

    Love your ruffled jacket!

  19. December 14, 2012 / 4:39 am

    I ll never change the way I dress for a guy. I ll always date someone who will appreciate and adore my love for clothes. And I think everybody should do the same.
    Completely agree to what you say!

    Love,Sindhu
    http://www.sindhugupta.blogspot.in

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ABOUT

Anushka Moore is an almost-thirty-something blogger who moved across the world when the love she met on Tinder put a ring on it. She now lives in Manchester with her husband and her two little Poodle-cross fur children.

Her day job includes running her own social media content company and is the founder of popular Instagram account, Midsize Collective.

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